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Episode 74/Transcript
Mackenzie: Yeah, we want models, not fleshlights with teeth. Jeannie: So, this is the new Team USA. Jeannie: You, what is your modelling specialty? Blaine: Um... um... Blaine. Jeannie: What? Blaine: I am Blaine. Mackenzie: Maybe we should start with somebody else. Than: Jesus, who brought this fucking idiot, right? Blaine: I am Blaine. Than: Yeah, I know who you are Blaine. Blaine: Sorry, I just get really nervous around powerful women. Brittnay: Cameron, amateur porn doesn't count. Cameron: Ha ha Brittnay. (Beat) It totally counts. Jeannie: Ok, listen up dipshits, the 11 of you are now the US modeling team. And you are all about to begin competing in the most prestigious international junior modeling competition in the entire world. So let me explain to you blank-faced cocksuckers how this works: The competition is broken up into five preliminary categories: Hand Modeling, Swimsuit, Photoshoot, Couture and Promo Modeling. Every team will have one male and one female model compete in each category, and no model may compete in more than one category. The best model in each category will score points for their team, and the teams with the three highest scores will meet in the final round runway walk-off. And that’s all gonna come down to one single skill: Which one of you is the baddest bitch on the catwalk? Now let me show you twats how this is done. Music! (starts walking) Mackenzie: (watching her) Wow, she's amazing! Mackenzie: Trisha, don't forget to turn! Mackenzie: Trisha! What are you doing?! Brittnay, Mackenzie, Deandra, and Matthew: Trisha, stop! Cameron: HA! Holy shit Brittnay, who taught you to walk? The son from Breaking Bad? Deandra: Jesus Christ Cameron, that guy actually has cerebral palsy. Cameron: Yeah, and it makes him walk funny. That's the fucking joke. Brittnay: Was I really that bad? Mackenzie: Yeah, it was pretty terrible. Brittnay: The fuck was the difference?! Cameron: I'm out. Jeannie: What?! Cameron: Yeah, if you think that I’m gonna be on a team captained by Mackenzie Zales, then you can eat my little butt. Jeannie: (walks in front of Cameron) Excuse, me. It's--Cameron, right? Cameron: Yeah, Cameron Van Buren. Jeannie: Well, listen Cameron. I'm sure whatever issue you have with Mackenzie Zales is real fucking important, but the winners of this competition are all going to receive professional modeling contracts. That means photoshoots in New York, apartments in London, and vacations in Milan. Now if you wanna go back to the University of Bum-Fuck-Who-Gives-A-Shit and spend your time getting the shocker from some poli-sci professor, you go right ahead. But I suggest you stay here, where you can put that ass and those tits to better use than target practice for some fraternity basement gangbang. Cameron: (stammers) Well, after some thought, I think that I will stay. Um, but I will have you know, that I actually enjoy the shocker. Jeannie: Nobody enjoys the shocker. Cameron: ...No. (sighs) No they don't. Jeannie: Everyone, get some rest tonight. Tomorrow, I'm gonna teach you how to model your asses off. Category:Season 5 transcripts